Looking for a woman-friendly group?
Because so many religious groups developed during times
when women and women’s issues were not valued, their modern descendants
can be contaminated by attitudes which will not help menopausal women
discover renewed meaning in their lives. It may help to look critically
at any group in relation to the following:
-
If you go to a meeting or a service, where do
you see women and what are they doing? Are they at the altar? Behind
a screen?
Arranging the flowers? Heading the finance committee? To what extent
is there domestic
worship or personal spiritual practice as well as public worship – and
what part do women and men play in this?
-
How do women feature in the
stories in the religious heritage? How common are they and
what did they do – or not do? How
are they described? How far, and in what ways, are they feasible
role models
for
ordinary women?
Most images of Mary the mother of Jesus show her as a young
girl.
This banner from Lincoln cathedral gives us a different view.
(click on picture for more information)
-
How does the tradition treat creativity? Is this
confined to God/Goddess – as in the creation of the world – or are
people seen as creative too? Are small talents valued as well as major
ones? Is there
talk of responsibility to identify and use one’s talents?
-
How
much do people talk about women and women’s issues?
Is ‘women’s place’ supposed to be in the home?
Are women encouraged to have a choice about the balance between
home and
work for
the community?
-
How does the tradition treat relationships? Are they
a distraction? Central? A way to enlightenment? Are they
in practice treated as
being much more the concern of women than men?
Some women choose to develop women-only groups, either within specific religious traditions or separate from them. The character of women-only groups within traditions can vary widely – contrast, for example, a local Mothers’ Union, a group of feminist theologians, and a community of Buddhist nuns. Individual women need to work out what kind of group they want, and whether what is available locally meets their needs. If nothing locally feels appropriate, an alternative is a women’s group with a spiritual focus – now increasingly known as a Women’s Circle. These have the advantage that they can be started without any consideration of official blessing, can drawn on kindred spirits from any religious tradition or none, and can meet in private houses, thus disposing of most issues about money.
What can a women’s circle offer?
Women’s circles work with a mixture of silence and sharing. They rely heavily on women’s willingness to listen carefully, respectfully and sympathetically to one another, and to maintain confidentiality. They evolve their own patterns of working – small opening and closing rituals, for example – according to the preferences of their members. They rely on commitment to the circle and regular attendance to build a sense of mutual caring and support. You can also expect:
- A belief in the power of shared silence to build a shared vision. Circles often choose a focus – for example, peace, wisdom, creativity - and this underpins their time together and the way in which they pattern what they do.
- A opportunity for everyone to speak their current truth and be listened to, with respect and without well-meant ‘helpful’ interruptions.
- A support for the value of personal experience – it is a sharing opportunity, not a discussion group
- An egalitarian structure – there are no permanent leaders.
The Women’s Circle movement started in the US, and most of the available resources come from there. A recent web search focussed in the UK produced nothing useful except opportunities to buy the basic books on line. In the US, however, there are good introductory sites, like Jean Shinoda Bolen’s millionthcircle.org.
There is also now an umbrella organisation with links to major US circle enthusiasts networkofcircles.net, and a number of local circles have developed their own web-sites. If you prefer to explore in print, Jean Shinoda Bolen’s The Millionth Circle and Christina Baldwin’s Calling the Circle are good places to start.
Also see Women & Community
Growing your own spiritual practice
Spirituality Resources
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